ticking away...

its been a wee while sorry bout that... iv been a little under the weather with tonsillitis and a little chest infection had all week off work and stayed at my nans for a night for sum good old tlc :) back to work 2morow thank goodness, im tearing my hair out... cabin fever i swear!!

anyways... i was just lookin at my little calender and realised the date... 20th Sep... that means that its 4 months to the DAY that i leave aus... as soon as i realised it felt like this hook grabbed me around the navel and started pulling me inside out! WHERE is my money?? WHERE is my time spent cherished with friends and family?? WHERE the heck is my head?? im leaving to go on the journey of my LIFE in four months and i have no idea what stage im at... i think i planned so far in advance that none of it seemed real, and now that im so close to going im like o shit where did the last 4 months go...?

i remember when michael was leaving, i kept saying to him have u got this and done that and payed for that and organised this, and he kept saying to me chill out babe, it will all organise itself.. i remember lookin at him and thinking to myself that even though i loved him and was shattered that he was leaving aus without me, i wanted so badly to boot him out of the country myself that moment!! sort its self out? HOW can a trip overseas sort its self out... but i think i understand what he meant...

its not so much that the trip will sort its self out, more that if u worry and fret and stress about it, the time to come, the time gone etc, you will end up screwing something up... if you just relax, take it as it comes and breath - it will all unfold in front of you like its going to anyways... i cant beleive im actually saying it - but he was right... this is the one and only time i will admit it ok :)

anyways... so i guess i beta get thinking... im booked in for thailand but i have to finalise my accommodation this week and also my diving and cycling tour...

holy shit - im really going :)

mwa xxxx